Forced Togetherness
by I'maMePanda
Summary: After a bust gone wrong, instead of laying low an angry gunrunner is out for revenge, forcing an already cranky and overworked Team Seven into protective custody. Over Christmas. If they make it to the New Year without Chris killing them all it might just be a miracle. Far From Home 'Verse, so warning for spanking. Crack!fic taken seriously CHP2 is up, ff won't show it
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! So, first off, I'm just gonna say that this Christmas fic will probably not be finished by Christmas, and if it is it will truly be a miracle. But it was just too much fun not to share.

This is set in the Far From Home Universe, prior to the two Ezra's switching places. Much like Far From Home itself, this is in a lot of ways Crack!Fic taken seriously, and is just a bit silly because of it. And of course there is spanking as that is a big component in this universe, though so far it's all off screen/mentioned.

Also, in case anybody missed it Rebuilding was updated on Saturday.

Merry Christmas and enjoy!

*.*.*.*.*.*

*.*.*.*

*.*.*

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_There was a middle-aged Chris who was stuck in a safe house..._

*.*.*.*.*.*

ATF Agent Larabee was bristling as the A.D came to the end of his spiel, back ramrod straight. If it were anyone but the director he'd tell them where to shove their precautions, but Chris knew that the man was already upset with him-and that he had a strap curled up in his desk drawer within easy reach. "Until we can be certain Zhan has been neutralized, the whole of Team 7 will be in protective custody, and I will _not_ Agent Larabee, hear another protest. You made your bed, now you can lie in it."

Chris nodded his head jerkily, grinding out a, "Yes, sir," even though the expression on his face could have cut glass. His men had been working back to back cases for months now, they were exhausted and grating on each others last nerves. A few mistakes had been made, some careless, some just unfortunate-all of which he'd dealt with. That A.D Travis seemed to be blaming them for Zhan's vendetta, when it had been the damned FBI that let him get away...

Though when that idiot Lawry had tried to pinpoint that on Ezra, saying that Zhan must have been tipped off, the A.D had torn into him thoroughly. Not as much cussing as Chris would have used, but he'd made it clear that none of his agents would be used as scapegoats for someone else's mistakes.

Hadn't kept him from pointing out _their_ mistakes once the 'Feeble Brained Imbeciles' had left, or warning that next time they pulled that kind of crap he'd deal with it himself.

"I know this is far from ideal," Chris glared, because 'far from ideal' was about the understatement of the century, "but try and make the best of it. You'll all be in the same safe house, at least you'll be together for Christmas."

"Yes, _sir._ It'll be a real holiday _treat_." The sarcasm fell nimbly off his tongue, and as Travis's eyes narrowed at him Chris realized he'd been spending too much time with Standish.

*.*.*.*.*.*

Chris stormed into the bullpen, ass stinging from the brief but memorable trip he'd taken over Travis's knee-his _knee_ , and not his desk, and Chris would almost have rather had a strapping than that. Which was, he knew, probably exactly why he'd gotten a spanking instead. He stopped abruptly as his men looked up at him expectantly, the head of the security detail that was in charge of moving them to the safe house with a minimum of fuss nearly running into his back, and lowered his opinion of the man's competence accordingly. Things were sparse around the holidays, most people already out of town or at least off for the holiday, and this was what they'd gotten stuck with. Chris pursed his lips as he saw the mixture of hope and resignation staring back at him, and not wanting to drag this out, snapped, "Everybody get your go bags, on the double."

"You mean-?" Chris cut off JD's horrified exclamation.

"Yep. We're spending Christmas in a goddamned FBI safehouse." The air was filled with muttered complaints and curses, but they were being muttered while his men were getting their bags and, with a satisfied nod, Chris turned on his heel to go into his office and get his own go-bag.

Thank God it had enough room for the expensive fifth of jack he'd bought to share with the boys, because Chris was going to need it. Possibly all of it. Bag grabbed and addition added, Chris snatched up his heavy coat and his hat and stepped back out the door.

And into chaos. Ezra, who unlike the rest of them had been undercover in various guises for most of the last few months-nothing that kept him entirely out of contact, and it had only been the final two weeks of the last case that he hadn't been able to go home at the end of the day, but enough that it had him feeling a bit out of place with the rest of them-was dealing with it in his usual way, being a shit. He was fussing at Josiah about something, and judging from the way the older man's face was tightening he wasn't too far off from dealing with it in _his_ usual way. Nathan interjecting himself in the argument wasn't helping-with the short string the profiler had been on lately Chris wouldn't be surprised if both men wound up with a few swats, for all Nathan thought he was helping Josiah. JD was stuffing wrapped gifts in his go bag, which would be fine, except that there was no way they were all going to fit, and Buck, who was telling him that, was being roundly ignored except for the occasional muttered, "Shut-up, Buck," and getting more and more exasperated by it, finally throwing his hands up in the air and shouting,

"Fine, when your bag splits open and your underwear goes everywhere don't come crying to me!"

Vin, of course, was perched on the edge of his desk, chuckling. Chris didn't know how, but he was certain the younger man had caused at least some of the commotion in here. He narrowed his eyes at him, but Vin just patted the bag that was sitting by his side, "I'm all ready t' go, cowboy."

"Good." Chris turned his attention back to the whole group, watching for another minute, then put his fingers to his lips, letting out a piercing whistle that his men knew meant 'drop it and listen, _now_ '. Pleased when they wisely turned towards him and shut their mouths, Chris relaxed a little, "Everybody have their go bag and phone?" Five varied affirmatives and one almost. "Leave the presents, JD."

"But, Chris! They're Christmas _presents._ " The kid was outright pleading with him, but Chris had to shake his head no, like it or not.

"You don't have room. Leave them." JD's face fell, but he nodded, turning to do just that. The tension that had been in the room traded itself in for a sense of melancholy, and the others started funneling towards the door, the idea of watching JD as he pulled each present out and set them back under his desk an unpleasant one. Chris stepped to the side to let them start filing out, planning to say something, though he didn't know what, to the upset young man. When Ezra, the last one out of the room paused long enough to whisper something that Chris deliberately tuned out(he'd swatted the undercover agent for eavesdropping more than once, wouldn't be smart to give him ammunition in that department), but had JD cocking his head to the side, contemplative, and then a little more cheerful than he had been, Chris sent him an approving look. Ezra merely smiled politely back, acting as though he had no idea what Chris was looking at him for, which was typical. Irritating, but typical.

"Hey Chris?" Chris made a noise of acknowledgment, turning his attention back to his youngest agent. "Do you think we'll still be able to get a tree?" From the expression on JD's face Chris's answer would either destroy or save his Christmas, and they had _better_ be able to.

"We'll figure out something." Even if it was a gaudy plastic substitute-even if it was one of the ones spray painted gold or purple, something no self respecting fir or spruce would ever want, they'd get a tree.

"Thanks, Chris." JD ducked his head a little as he finally got his bag zipped and pulled it over his shoulder, Chris pretending he didn't see him scoop up his laptop bag as well-if the computer genius had that to distract him they'd all probably be a lot happier. "It's kinda stupid, but it just doesn't feel like Christmas without a tree."

"It ain't stupid. C'mon." Chris gestured for JD to move his butt, following after and flipping off the lights automatically.

Chris would make sure JD had his tree if he had to bribe whatever watchdog the FBI would have checking on them to go chop one down. Kid was right. It just wouldn't feel like Christmas without one.

*.*.*.*.*.*

Ezra purposefully allowed the disdain he felt for the man who was briefing them on how transportation was being carried out to show on his face. He was all for complicated plans when they were necessary, but really, was this amateur hour? Zhan had already attempted to have their noble leader taken out on his early morning coffee run, and was no idle threat. "So, the five vans leave, you gentlemen in one and decoys in the others, and split up in all different directions. If Zhan has any men watching they won't know which van you're in if they attempt to follow."

"We're seriously Harry Pottering it? That wasn't a joke?" JD said under his breath, voice disbelieving, Ezra having to work just a bit to keep his lips from twitching, "That got Mad-Eye and Hedwig killed you know!" Buck, the one whose ears JD was intending his words for, even though half the room could probably hear him, murmured for him to shut-up, and when he opened his mouth again tapped him lightly on the thigh as a warning, while the security coordinator-Quane? Quine? Whatever it was it sounded more like a grain than a name...Ezra wondered if he could get away with calling the man Agent Quinoa-attempted to look forbidding. He wasn't very good at it. Though, Ezra supposed after regular exposure to Mr. Larabee not many people would be impressive in that regard.

"If there aren't any questions, we can start loading up." It was clear that he was expecting none-overly complicated yes, but the plan was certainly not rocket science-but Ezra did so hate to live down to people's expectations.

"Can you repeat the precise number of vehicles being used in the operation?" he asked in his best 'apt pupil' tones, and immediately reaped the award of twin 'looks' from both Mr. Sanchez and Mr. Larabee, and an almost unheard groan from Mr. Jackson.

"Five, Agent Standish." The man's face expressed his annoyance with having to repeat something he'd already mentioned about ten times, but Ezra merely nodded solemnly.

"Thank you, Agent Quinoa."

"It's Quine!" The man thundered it out as the 'looks' transformed into glares and Ezra was glad he had JD on one side and Vin on the other or he had a feeling he would have received something a bit stronger than a warning tap. He supposed he'd had enough fun anyway, and would likely be wise to stop while he was ahead.

"Ah do apologize, Agent Quine. Ah must have misheard earliah." The man nodded his head in begrudging acceptance, opening his mouth to likely tell them all to start loading into the vehicle, when Vin, to Ezra's delight, raised his hand.

"Yes, Agent Tanner?" Chris's glare transferred from Ezra to Vin in anticipation.

"Yeah, ya said they wouldn't know which van to follow, but what if they pick the right one?" A logical question that would be difficult for Chris to find fault with, why hadn't Ezra thought of that?

"Your driver will, of course, still take evasive measures in order to lose any tail that tries to follow."

"Cool." The doubt in Vin's voice would have been obvious even without the raised eyebrows that accompanied it. Probably, like Ezra, he thought that that was already obvious, and had wondered if there were any further measures being taken beyond that.

"How long a drive is it gonna be?" JD asked, "Are we going to be stuck in that van for six hours or something? 'Cause Buck ate a burrito for lunch, and-"

"JD, I will end you, kid." Buck grumbled, his stomach letting out a loud gurgling noise after his last word, as though punctuating his sentence and certainly lending credence to JD's claims.

"I call a window seat!" JD announced.

"There's no calling seats, JD, it's first come, first serve, you know that." Nathan's voice held it's usual steady tone, with a strong hint of long suffering to it. Ezra wouldn't be at all surprised if Nathan was regretting that rule himself, the medic with his long legs definitely preferred the front seat, and probably preferred to be far away from all of them at the moment.

"But-"

"Alright, enough!" Chris snapped it out, voice loud and deadly, "I know we're all already going stir crazy from being stuck in the office or the surveillance van, but guess what? It ain't over, so suck it up or it ain't Zhan you're gonna have to worry about killing you!" There was a moment of surprised silence, and then Chris pointed towards the van that had been designated theirs, clearly expecting them to march. Buck, no fool for all his clowning, headed that way immediately, only taking the time to snag JD by the arm and pull him along with him, scolding quietly as he went.

"Jeez, ya don't mutter under your breath during a briefing kid, ain't I taught you nothing? You wait until they can't hear ya to complain!" Ezra hurried after them, having seen Josiah stepping his way with purpose in his movements, but had only gotten a few feet when a large hand clamped down on his shoulder, halting his progress. Reluctantly, he turned back to face the profiler, making sure his face was simply curious as he did so. Not that Josiah would be fooled, but that wasn't the point.

"Quinoa, Ezra? A little petty, don't you think?"

Wincing a little at the profiler's unhappy expression, Ezra said quietly, "An unfortunate slip of the tongue-which, if you recall, Ah apologized for."

"A slip, huh?" Ezra was torn a little here on whether to continue with his denial or acknowledge that the jab had been intentional-Josiah wouldn't believe his denial, unfortunately, but there were still pros and cons to each option. "It's _not_ Agent Quine's fault we're stuck in protective custody over Christmas."

Stung, Ezra pulled back, slipping his shoulder out of Josiah's hold, "It _isn't_ mine eithah." Josiah immediately reclaimed his shoulder and gave it a quick shake.

"When did I say it was?" Ezra said nothing, not sure what to say, and not about to blurt anything out after his disaster of a previous sentence, but that wasn't good enough for Josiah, who gave his shoulder another little shake, "No one on the team has that said that, or thinks it, Ezra. You forget about that imbecile Lawry, you hear me?"

Deciding that the only way out of this without further humiliation was to give in quickly, Ezra murmured, trying to sound suitably contrite, "Ah suppose Ah should know better by now."

"Yes, son. You should. You should also," Josiah's voice grew sterner, and Ezra wished for Chris, who was standing outside the van impatiently, to shout for them, but knew he wouldn't, "know better than to tease someone because you're in a bad mood." That made him sound like a bratty twelve year old, and while Ezra supposed it wasn't entirely inaccurate, he couldn't exactly help it if the man's name was made for the joke.

Perhaps it would have been better saved for the privacy of his teammates ears, however.

"Ezra?" Josiah was furrowing his brow at him, and then, proving that Christmas truly was a time for miracles, Chris shouted out,

"Time's up!"

And then, possibly because Santa did know who was naughty or nice, he added, "Swat him already!"

A minute later, as Ezra shifted into the one open spot left, the middle seat in-between Josiah and Nathan, he wished sincerely that Mr. Sanchez had not been quite so enthusiastic in following their superior's orders.

*.*.*.*.*.*

J.D. was bored. Buck had fallen asleep an hour into their drive, head tilted back over the seat and his breathing punctuated by the occasional loud snore, or, nearly as often, a noise from his other end, and so he was no help. At least the window was the kind you could push out a little for air, though it didn't roll down. It didn't help that Vin had stuck his head phones on a while ago, and was looking out the window. JD had done that for awhile too, but the third time he'd started singing along-quietly!-Ezra had threatened to crimp his vocal cords with them. Josiah had growled at him, but he'd also told JD that the point of the headphones was that you could listen without other people having too. And then Nathan had muttered something about having a headache, and JD kinda thought his singing wasn't _that_ bad, but figured he'd lose the headphones if he kept listening, and there was no way that was happening.

His laptop was too big to pull out in the cramped van, and anyway it was in the back and so was the book he had in his go bag, and he'd already played about fifty games of fruit ninja on his phone. Between that and listening to music the battery was already half gone anyway, and JD didn't want it to die. He'd taken care of texting Casey and letting her know he wouldn't be around for Christmas before they ever left the office, and she hadn't texted back yet and he was worried she was mad at him and wouldn't. She'd really been excited about them doing couple stuff this Christmas, they were supposed to go ice fishing tomorrow and Casey wanted them to get their pictures taken, which had kinda freaked JD out, because getting pictures taken together was like a _serious_ couple thing.

Only, now that they weren't doing it, JD didn't think it sounded so bad...

He sighed and slumped in his seat, then kicked his foot frustratedly, it reverberating off the bench seat in front of him satisfyingly. He was tempted to do it again, but he wasn't that stupid and settled for scuffing his heels on the ground, and then letting out another long sigh. He wanted to ask how long it was until they got there, they'd been driving for nearly three hours now, and JD had never actually gotten an answer when he'd asked earlier-what if they really were stuck in the car for another three hours? His brain would melt out his ears, that was what.

Buck shifted in his sleep, the leg he'd crossed thumping hard against the middle seat and making Ezra jump in surprise as it fell to the floor. JD couldn't quite hide his snicker, and Ezra turned slowly in his seat and glared at him, "You are being extraordinarily childish, and it is not nearly as charming as you think, John Daniel."

JD gaped at him in surprise, then glared. "I didn't kick your seat, it was Buck!"

Ezra gave him a look of utter disbelief, "Mr. Wilmington is sleeping, the man is snoring as we speak."

"Yeah, some people kick in their sleep!" JD answered, indignantly.

"A man who has a bed partner as regularly as Buck is not likely to have that unfortunate trait." His teammate was still looking at him like he'd told him he had a smurf living in his pocket or something, and sure, he'd kicked the seat the first time, but he _really_ hadn't this time.

"JD, just stop kicking the seat," Nathan broke in, looking over his shoulder, "It's not worth you two getting all excited about it, not when we're stuck in here for who knows how much longer. It's rude, anyway." Ezra smirked at him triumphantly and JD crossed his arms across his chest.

"But I didn't do it!"

Nathan raised an eyebrow at him, "And I suppose it wasn't you the first time either?" Hesitating, JD bit his lip and then had to shake his head.

"No, it was...but _just_ the first time."

"Likely story," Ezra muttered, starting to turn forward again, and annoyed that he still didn't believe him, JD did kick the seat behind Ezra, though lower, as from where he was sitting he couldn't actually reach the high spot where Buck's foot had landed. "Hey!"

"JD, I _saw_ you kick it that time," Nathan said, rolling his eyes at him.

"Figured if you weren't going to believe me anyway, I might as well." Ezra glared at him, and then, hands moving quickly, flicked one of the cards he'd been shuffling at JD's face, the edge smacking him right in the nose before he could move a hand to block it.

"Hey, knock it off, you jerk!" It hadn't actually hurt of course, but having something come flying at your face unexpectedly wasn't much fun. Ezra's response was to flick another card at him, though since he was expecting it JD was able to bat it away easily. He'd just pulled back his foot and thumped the seat again when Josiah's hand moved, stopping Ezra from continuing to use his cards like throwing stars by closing around it and pushing it down towards his lap. As the large man slowly turned in his seat, shifting so he could _look_ at each of them in turn, JD really wished he'd held back that last thump.

"Should've known better than to think I could meditate in here...boys, if I have to have the driver pull over neither of you are going to be happy."

"Mr. Sanchez-" "Josiah-"

"No blaming, just the both of you stopping. _Now._ "

"Okay, Josiah." JD muttered with a sigh, still annoyed at the whole being blamed for Buck flailing in his sleep thing, but figuring he'd kicked the seat enough himself he couldn't really claim innocence anymore.

Ezra, always more long winded, said, "As Mr. Dunne has agreed to a ceasefire, Ah suppose Ah should be equally agreeable," with his best charming smile, the one that the whole team knew meant if he wasn't up to something then, he had been, and Josiah's mouth stayed a little tight, obviously not sold on their sincerity, his head shaking, as he rumbled,

"Good. I'm going to hold you two to that." He released Ezra's hand with one more look at both of them, turning forward in his seat.

"Mr. Dunne, might Ah trouble you for mah playing cards back?" JD made a face at Ezra, but reached down for the cards that had wound up by his sneakers, handing them back.

A second later everybody was being as boring as they had been a minute ago, Buck still snoring and Vin still looking out the window, Ezra shuffling his cards continually, Nathan reading a book he must have pulled out of his go-bag when they were loading up, and he was pretty sure Josiah was _actually_ trying to meditate in the moving vehicle. Sometimes the profiler was seriously weird. He wasn't sure what Chris was doing up in the front, not since he'd threatened to break the Chipmunks CD the driver had started playing before it had gotten halfway through 'Christmastime is here' (Josiah had given Chris the eye for that, but Chris had just ignored him. JD wished he could get away with that.), but it was probably boring too.

Slumping down in his seat again, JD let out another long sigh as he looked out the window at the darkening sky. They were never going to get there. They were stuck in a time loop, and they'd just keep going, driving and driving and driving...

Hey, they were turning off the curvy road they'd been driving on and onto a gravel road-jeez, this safe house was really in the middle of nowhere, wasn't it? JD sat up in his seat looking forward along the road for a house or houses to appear. If they'd been in the city the safe house would have been a cookie-cutter house, something bland and identical to everything around it, but he didn't have a clue what to expect way out here. They passed a couple of cabins, but nothing that could be big enough for them. Then they turned down another road, and the houses got bigger, and a little closer together, though there was still a good quarter of a mile between them. When they did turn into a driveway it was getting so dark it was hard to see the house, but it looked like an old lodge, and as they got closer and the head lights hit the building JD could see that there where real logs making up the outside, and there was snow all over everything, and it didn't look so bad. In fact, it kind of looked exactly like the sort of house people in movies would spend Christmas in.

*.*.*.*.*.*

Vin looked around the attic room, nodding in approval as he walked over and tossed his bag on one of the twin beds. The sloping eaves might mean you had to duck your head if you were close to the walls, but it was a cheerful, well-lit room, and probably bigger than the bedrooms downstairs, even if it was a little dusty.

"Hey, do you feel a little like Kevin from Home Alone up here? I sure do. We're the youngest so they send us all the way up here." JD tossed his own bag down on the bed across from Vin's and walked over to a door that stood on the back wall, inbetween the heads of the beds, yanking it open to reveal an empty closet. "Dang, I was hoping that was a bathroom. We're gonna have to go all the way down the stairs every time we gotta take a piss."

Rolling his eyes, Vin didn't bother to respond to JD's chatter as he flopped onto the slightly stale sheets, shifting around until he was comfortable and propping his head up on his hand as he continued looking around the room. He'd slept on a lot worse, and the mattress was comfy enough. "I always thought the mom was kind of mean in that-I mean Kevin was acting like a brat sure, but so was his big brother, and he was the only one who got in trouble."

"It's 'cause he was loud an' obnoxious. Like ya." Vin tossed a teasing grin at JD, so he'd know it was just a joke-mostly-and the younger man rolled his eyes at him.

"And his brother got away with it, 'cause he was sneaky like you."

"Yep. But I'm nicer."

Plopping down on his bed, JD gave Vin a studying look, though his quirking lip gave away that he wasn't actually as serious as he was pretending, "Well, most of the time." Vin grabbed his pillow and flung it at him, the sharpshooter scoring a dead hit right across his teammate's face.

"Hey!"

With a chuckle Vin caught the pillow as it came flying back his way, stuffing it under his head and letting himself fall back flat on the bed and turning his head so he could see JD, "Yep, ye're as whiny as Kevin, alright. Don't worry though, ye're so loud we'd know in two seconds if ya were left behind."

"Shut-up." JD grumbled, before turning to dig in his go-bag for something. Vin smiled when he saw it was a small docking station with speakers for the ipod the kid pulled out of his go-bag next.

"Ain't ya got enough music on that laptop of yours?"

"It's all on my onedrive, and to get that I have to get on the internet, and this place has no internet, I checked like two seconds after I got out of the car. I'll hack into a hotspot app later and we'll have internet up here at least, don't worry about that."

Quirking an eyebrow, Vin said, "That's fancy." He wasn't much into watching TV on his phone or anything like that, but it would probably make this all a lot less painful if the kid had internet.

"More like necessary, do you know how long it's been since I've had a chance to run a legendary, or even log into WOW for more than twenty minutes?" JD had finished setting up the ipod and docking station as he was talking, and as the sounds of Third Eye Blind's Jumper started floating around the room Vin snorted.

"Nerd."


	2. Chapter 2

Hi guys! Merry almost Christmas!

Things have been busy/crazy enough (my garbage disposal decided to break and clog up both sides of the sink in the middle of making cookies today. Luckily my mother is incredibly good with mechanics and got it draining properly, but I no longer have a garbage disposal. Never had one before, and it was kind of nice when you have a small garbage can that you're sharing with neighbors), plus I caught a cold, that I wasn't sure I was going to get this out, but I managed to finish it off last night/this morning.

I want to say thank you to everybody who reviewed, you guys rock ElanorGrace, Chrissysmiles, westernmelody, Ullswater, MamaBear2Two, Michelle, Maddie, Mhart, Guest, Diggedydog. You guys totally rock! Also, a special shout-out to MamaBear2Two for all her encouragement and also the cinder block tree stand idea :)

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 _Surrounded by so many agents he had to grouse_

"Ah do not believe that rooming with Mistah Sanchez will be conducive to me achieving the rest Mr. Jackson prescribed at the conclusion of our case, due to his soniferous nature in the nighttime." Ezra drawled it while Chris rolled his eyes at him, and Josiah looked like he wasn't sure whether to laugh or not.

"You do sound kinda like a bear, 'Siah. Like a snoring grizzly," Buck said with a grin, perfectly content with Nathan as a roommate and to sit back and enjoy the show that was coming. The show that he would help start if it didn't happen naturally, Chris thought, a little sourly. Josiah fake growled at Buck in response, and if Chris didn't know better there were times he would have thought his men were smoking something. Focusing back on a still stubborn looking Ezra, and glad JD and Vin had gone up to check out the attic bedroom without a fuss, Chris crossed his arms across his chest.

"Then talk Nathan or Buck into switching, you aren't sharing with me." Chris said baldly, pretty certain from the look on Ezra's face at his words that sharing with Chris had been about the last thing on his mind. Good. Ezra and him sharing a room was a recipe for disaster and maimed undercover agents if he ever heard one.

"Ah can certainly assure you Mistah Larabee that the notion of us rooming togethah for the duration of this debacle had nevah crossed mah mind. Howevah, there is a large and comfortable couch in the great room, and in these circumstances-"

"Heck no, you can't take over the entire living room," Buck said, shaking his head, "That's where the TV is, and I am not missing the game."

Briefly closing his eyes, as though he was slightly pained-if Ezra weren't making Chris feel like doing the same thing right now he would have sympathized-the southerner said, "Ah wouldn't dream of getting between any of you and the assortment of sports games that Ah'm sure qualify as required watching."

"Good," Buck said with a grin, reaching out to pat Ezra on the head, making the man duck and scowl at him, "Then you don't mind sharing the room with, Josiah. C'mon, Nate let's go pick out our room." Apparently deciding the argument was done, Buck scooped up his bag and headed down the hallway. Nathan shrugged at a surprised and slightly indignant Ezra, clearly trying not to laugh and not doing a very good job of it, and followed Buck down the hallway. Decided that that wasn't a half bad idea-it would be hard for the man to argue if there was no one there for him to argue with-Chris headed to the bedroom he'd already claimed, Ezra's peeved, "Well, really!" and Josiah's chuckles following him.

*.*.*.*.*.*

"C'mon now, Ezra, it won't be so bad. I'll loan you my earplugs." Josiah could hear the amusement thick in his own voice, though when it came right down to it, he had his own reasons for wanting the young man in his room, and even if the others had been fine with him being in the living room, the profiler would have put his foot down. The boy was badly stressed, had been stretched hard the last few months-they all had been, but Ezra who kept things as close to his chest as possible, needed neither to feel alone or on display with nowhere to retreat and, whatever he said, being stuck in the living room was likely to have the younger man feeling at least a little of that.

"Josiah, as much as Ah appreciate the generous offah, Ah'm going to have to decline the use of your second hand earplugs." The horrified look on Ezra's face had Josiah chuckling again, slapping the southerner lightly on the back.

"Scared of my earwax, huh?" For the two seconds while Ezra looked like he had no idea how to respond to that Josiah scooped up the man's over large satchel from where he'd set it, thrusting it into his arms and letting go so the undercover agent had no choice but to take it, before grabbing his own bag and walking down the hall, calling, "Might as well get unpacked," over his shoulder. The sigh and footsteps that followed after didn't surprise him, but they did make him smile.

"Ah believe the word 'appalled' or perhaps 'aghast' would represent a far more realistic portrayal of mah feelings towards your earwax, Josiah." It was a grumble, if he ever heard one, but there was some amusement of Ezra's own underneath it, the profiler simply shaking his head as they walked down the beige and brown hallway.

*.*.*.*.*.*

Nathan sighed slightly as he leaned a hip against the counter, looking out the wide window above the kitchen sink into the snowy backyard. This wasn't how he'd expected this Christmas to go. He knew he should just be grateful that they were all okay, and that they'd been able to stay together-really, he was grateful for that, but...

This was not how he expected this Christmas to go. Nathan's hand went to his pocket, fingers curling around the small velvet box that he'd picked up on his way into the office that morning. He hadn't wanted to pull it out and tuck it away in a drawer in front of Buck, who was like a homing beacon to anything related to romance, and would have spent the whole rest of however long they were stuck here giving him 'advice' on how to ask her. Nathan didn't need any advice, he knew exactly how...

Well, he _had_ known exactly how he was going to ask her, but now, with them stuck here, all those plans, the reservations he'd had to make a good two months in advance, were out the window. Probably, he should see what Buck had to say, couldn't hurt now. He could hear footsteps that were easily identified as Josiah's, he was the heaviest out of the lot of them, coming towards the kitchen and tossed a, "Hey," over his shoulder at him as the man stepped onto the linoleum.

"Hello, brother. I'm going to see what I can scrounge up for dinner in here before we have a Donner party incident on our hands." Nathan chuckled slightly as Josiah opened the closest cupboard and peered in. "Ah, well at least we know where the pitchers are now...why there are so many of them, that I think will remain a mystery."

Nathan blinked a little as he turned to get a better look and realized that Josiah wasn't exaggerating, the cupboard he was looking at was filled with about ten pitchers and nothing else. "Okay, that's a little strange."

"Hmm, well, it's pretty obvious that they just left most everything as it was when they seized this place. I expect whatever money launderer or international drug runner it belonged to did a bit more entertaining then any of us are used to." Josiah shook his head and shut the cabinet moving on to the next cupboard, which contained a normal assortment of mugs and glasses.

"Pretty sure the only time you need to make that much kool-aid is in a Jonestown situation." Nathan remarked, voice dry, then seeing Josiah looking at him in surprise, moved to pull open the drawer closest to him. He guessed that had been a little dark. "This one has spices, but who knows how old they are."

"We'll make do. Everything alright? You've been kinda quiet today."

Nathan shrugged, as he moved on to the drawer below the first-measuring cups and spoons, a turkey baster and garlic press and some other random stuff, sort of a kitchen themed junk drawer, "Not exactly how or where I figured on spending Christmas."

"Or who you figured on spending Christmas with, at least not all of them, huh?" He shrugged again, then nodded, shutting the drawer he'd been poking through, and moving on to the cupboard closest to the sink-plates and bowls, and was there _any_ food in this place?

"We've just been working so much. I'm never home, and if I am it's sure to be when she's not." Nathan swallowed, voice lowering as he said, "I miss her, 'Siah." He heard Josiah moving across the room and considered moving away, but stayed where he was, letting the older man squeeze his shoulder when he got close enough.

"Well, of course you do, Nathan. Of course you do."

*.*.*.*.*.*

Flicking on the light as he stepped in, Chris squinted his eyes as he waited for the garage to come properly into focus. He always liked to know the full layout of anywhere he was, liked to know what tools he had at his disposal, both figuratively and literally. Chris nodded in appreciation as he saw the sparse, but well organized collection of tools laid out on the wall above a tool bench across from him, crossing to examine it closer. The blank spots meant either the FBI had taken and auctioned off the best of the tools, or those hiding here had taken home a few freebies when they left, but there was still enough to be admired. Whatever the owners of this house had done-and really, it could have been as simple as embezzlement or major tax fraud-they had known their tools. Though, Chris thought, reaching out a hand to finger a drill he'd admired but never dreamed of affording, judging by the look of them, they hadn't simply been cleaned well and put away, the majority of them had never been used. What a waste. With a sigh, Chris dropped his hand. Wasn't his, and he doubted he'd find any reason to use it.

Stepping back, planning to explore the rest of the space, his eye caught on a simple crosscut saw as the light glinted off the metal. Looking at it, Chris smiled slightly. There was a big backyard, and beyond it woods. Looked like JD would get that tree after all.

Now, all he needed to find was a cinder block for the base...a few rocks to weight it and they'd have a tree stand too.

*.*.*.*.*.*

"May ah ask what exactly this...culinary delight is?" Buck laughed as he slid into the seat next to the picky eater of the group, ruffling his hair before Ezra could move his head away and earning a truly evil looking glare as he pulled the pot that was going around the table out of his hands.

"It's chili mac, ain't you never had chili mac before?" Not waiting for an answer-Ezra's ma sure as heck hadn't been the type to make kid friendly food, Buck scooped a couple of large ladle fulls onto his plate and then added another to Ezra's, as the man had hardly had any on his plate, "My momma used to make this all the time, though she always put a can of vegetables in hers-tomatoes, mostly." Ezra raised an eyebrow at the extra food, but Buck didn't pay any mind to him, just passed the bowl onto Vin on his other side. JD had been the first to the table when Josiah called and Buck could see his fork was already in his hand, antsy to get started on the small mountain of pasta that sat on his plate.

"That would've been a good way to get vegetables into a picky kid," Nathan said, thoughtfully, then with a grin, "bet it would still work."

"I ain't never been picky, just know what I like," Buck said, then grinned back, giving in easily, "Yeah, Momma was smart like that. How do you think I got to be the big strapping specimen of a man you see before you?"

Nathan snorted, then shook his head while JD groaned and most of the rest laughed, "Ya know, I'm not gonna touch that one with a ten foot pole." A pan with canned green beans that looked like they were half drowned in butter, or maybe margarine, was passed around, Buck taking a generous spoonful and passing them on to Vin who wrinkled his nose and put about three green beans on his plate. He was one that you definitely needed to use his momma's method on, sneaking them past so the Texan couldn't taste them.

"I think in light of how differently things might have gone this morning this meal together is one we should all take the time to give thanks for," Josiah declared once both dishes had made it all the way around, holding out a hand to either side of him, from where he sat at one end of the table, Chris at the other, and Buck's eyes moved automatically to his old friend, to his brother, and had to swallow. It was a risk they faced on nearly every job, but this, a situation where Zhan was targeting them specifically, or really, most likely just Ezra and Chris. They had played the connection and the buyer and were who Zhan would recognize and be sure were part of the team who had taken down his organization, even if the man himself had slipped away. The preacher man was more than right, they had plenty to be thankful for Buck thought, his eyes moving around the table at each of his teammates, the loud, loyal, obnoxious, and downright awesome family that he wasn't always sure what an old hound dog like him had done to deserve. Buck didn't really realize he wasn't listening to the prayer until he was scrambling to get his amen out a second behind everyone else, meeting Josiah's eye with a sheepish grin. Josiah just smiled back, knowing in that way of his that was irritating or reassuring depending on the situation, and then turned his head to his own dinner.

"So, what are we doing after dinner?" JD asked once he'd eaten enough to satisfy the ravenous wolves that Buck sometimes thought lived in the boy's stomach, the first noise besides the sounds of seven hungry men eating since Josiah had finished his grace. "There are a bunch of DVD's in the living room, we could watch a movie? If everybody wants to do something together, I mean. Or we could play a game? There was a cupboard with a bunch of board games up in the attic, and a dominoes set. There were some really weird card games too, from some company called Cheapass, there was a game where you're all zombies trying to run a restaurant, only you only have one brain between you, and you have to pass it around to get different tasks done, and another one where you're all super-villains trying to lure a spy back to your lair, and you get different cards that make your lair weaker or stronger, if it's strong the super-villain catches the spy, and if it's weak the spy beats them and gets away, and sometimes ruins the lair." The young man sucked in a long breath when he was done with that spiel, and Buck shook his head mock despairingly.

"Breathe, kid, breathe!" JD rolled his eyes at him, and opened his mouth, probably to let loose with another long spiel, but Buck started talking before he could, "One of these days you're gonna talk until you're blue in the face and pass right out where you are."

"Oh jeez, Buck, exaggerating a little? I bet that's not even possible, right Nathan?" JD turned to the medic for answers and Buck did the same thing. Nathan was taking a drink of water and finished and set it down before he answered.

"Well, some people can hold their breath until they pass out, though I don't recommend it, so yeah, it's probably possible. But-" Buck crowed as Nathan tried to start his second sentence, grinning across the table at JD, while Nathan grumbled not particularly seriously about never getting a word in edgewise.

"Ha, I knew it! You'll be talking to that little girly of yours, getting all hot and bothered about that role-playing con-"

"It's a cosplay convention, not a role-playing convention, Buck! Quit telling people that!" JD was red faced and glaring at him and Buck just grinned back. That's what the kid got for telling Inez about his footlocker full of 'reading' material. Buck had only told a few people, anyway.

"Some of those outfits you and Casey were giggling over-"

"Shut-up! Just shut-up!"

Buck stopped, surprised at the kid's vehemence and suddenly realizing that JD's red face wasn't just his usual over-excitement mixed with frustration, but real anger and embarrassment, gaping for a second in surprise, and then, all the bravado gone from his voice he said, "JD...kid, I didn't mean to-"

"To have Roxie and Carla telling the whole administrative pool that me and my girlfriend have to dress up in costumes to, to," JD's face got even redder as he clammed up, and what the hell? It sounded like the cute story Buck had told had been ran wild with, as he sure as heck hadn't taken it that far. When JD had complained yesterday Buck had shrugged it off because he didn't see how any harm could come from it, but if the boy had just _told_ him what was being said...

"Buck?" It was all Chris said, but the question in it, the demand for a quick, honest answer, _now_ , was unmistakable, and Buck gave it.

"That wasn't what I said, but I did tell Carla the kid was going to a role-playing convention-I figured she had to know it was a joke, but," Buck shook his head and looked over at JD, who stared back at him with his face still angry, but not as angry as it had been, which probably meant he believed him, "it's still my fault. I'm sorry, JD."

JD glared for a moment longer, then sighed, "Guess it's okay if you didn't say that..."

"No. It ain't." Chris's voice was resolute, and Buck swallowed, knowing what was coming next, "We talked about you being careful who you tell those tall tales to."

"Yeah." He nodded his head, knowing they had, and not just once, "We did, Chris, but-"

"So, talking didn't work." He just looked at Buck for a minute, then said quietly, "Finish your dinner. Then," Chris jerked his head in the direction of the hallway, not needing to say anymore. Buck nodded reluctantly, turning his attention to poking at his plate, though the truth was, he felt more guilty about upsetting JD than he did nervous about getting his butt whooped.

"But Chris, he said sorry." Buck brought his head up, blinking in surprise at JD's voice, earnest as anything.

"I know he did." That was all Chris offered and Buck shook his head minutely in warning as he saw JD's mouth open to argue. The kid wouldn't have been in the mood to listen to him anyway, but Ezra spoke up before he could, changing the subject back to games.

"Ah am curious about this game you mentioned where one is a super-villain trying to defeat spies? It would be safe to assume there is a James Bondesque theme to this amusement?"

JD shrugged, "Well, I've never played it, and I only read the rules on the back of the little packet they came in once, but yeah I think so. You wanna play?"

"If no one else objects that seems like it would be an engaging way to pass a portion of the evening." Ezra looked around the table, Buck figured to see if anyone objected, but there was only nodding heads and, 'sure's.

"Cool. If it's fun we can try the zombie one too." JD smiled, but Buck could see he was still a bit subdued.

"You know," Nathan interjected, voice wry, "anybody else not surprised that a criminal bought their kids a game about being a super-villain?" There was a pause and then snorts rang out around the table, Josiah finally giving in and letting out a belly laugh. Buck wasn't sure it was that funny, but after the tension of the day-after the tension of the last _month_ -it felt good to laugh.

Even if he couldn't quite forget that for him at least there was a pitstop before there was any game playing.

*.*.*.*.*.*

Chris strode down the hallway, Buck following behind him, the beginnings of a headache forming, and just wanting to get this over with. Any other situation and he'd have let it go, but he had talked to Buck about letting his mouth get away from him more than once. Besides, even if Chris had been prepared to let it go, he knew damn well that a guilty Buck, especially a Buck who felt guilty over something to do with JD was no fun for anybody. Particularly for Buck. Chris pushed open the door to his room as he reached it, standing back and motioning for Buck to go in ahead of him, entirely because he knew it would set the man on edge a little. He might not want to do this, but if he had to he was going to do it right. Walking into the room after him, Chris squarely met Buck's guilty eyes and motioned for him to sit down on the bed behind the man, and then stood in front of him with his arms crossed. It wasn't long before Buck's head ducked a little, looking up at Chris through his eyelashes, "Know I screwed up, Pard."

"Should know by now anything you tell Carla Bell will gain a few layers and be spread everywhere by lunch." Chris would have a word or two to say to Bell and Rhodes supervisor when they got back, about their little part in this, but Buck needed to quit wearing blinders when it came to women.

Buck shook his head as he answered, Chris's eyes narrowing at him, "Aw, Chris, Carla ain't so bad, she just-"

"Hurt JD's feelings. Humiliated him." His old friend's head ducked so he was looking at the floor, and all Chris could really see was his dark brown hair.

"More my fault than hers."

"Yep. If you hadn't been looking for a funny story to impress her with, it wouldn't have happened." Buck only nodded, still not looking up, and Chris bit off a sigh. That Carla considered herself out of Buck's league, and Chris felt it was the opposite-well, telling Buck would just make him more determined, so he'd keep his mouth shut about that. Buck would have to figure that out on his own-if he hadn't moved on to a new interest, or several new interests, before that could happen, as he probably would. Time to get this over with. Walking over to the bed, Chris said quietly, "Stand up." Buck pushed himself to his feet and Chris wasted no time in sitting down in his place. Buck was tall, taller than him by a bit, even though Chris wasn't exactly short, making the next part always a bit awkward, as Buck bent his knees while Chris slowly bent him over. Once-and only once-he'd yanked him over his knee in anger and Buck had hit his head on a bed frame. Even if Sarah hadn't torn his own backside up over it, it still wasn't something he ever wanted to happen again.

Wrapping an arm around the big man to keep him in place, Chris brought his hand down hard at the top right of his rear, Buck twitching a little, and then continued down in a line, each smack just overlapping the one before it, until he got to where the man would feel it the most, the under curve, and raising his right leg just a little, he landed swats nine and ten there with a snap of his wrist, satisfied with the sharp intake of breath that escaped from Buck at that. Shifting his explosives expert just a tad Chris concentrated on the side of his ass closest to him, raining down swats in the same line he'd used before, the last two having his brother slip out a curse that Chris ignored, knowing it wasn't directed at him. Done, he moved his hand to rest in the middle of Buck's back, letting him feel its solid presence and not moving until the big man started to push himself up. Chris stood with him, helping Buck straighten out and then clasped a hand on his shoulder, squeezing. "I'm okay, Pard." Buck's voice was subdued, a little strained, and Chris squeezed his shoulder again before letting go.

"Good. Ready to go be a super-villain?" Chris said it matter of factly, but he expected and was pleased to see Buck's mouth start to crinkle.

"Heck, I think I'd make a great super-villain."

"I can see it."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hey everybody :) Been a while since I updated this one, I hope I still have some readers interested. I'm figuring if I start now it might just be done by Christmas this year :) Hope everyone enjoys it, let me know if you do. And, as pretty much always in the 'FFH 'verse, cp and discipline will be discussed and used, in this chapter there is one on screen and one off screen spanking. If you don't want to read it please hit the back button, there are tons of other great stories you can read.

*.*

*.*.*

*.*.*.*

*.*.*.*.*

 _He gave them a glare without any give_

Josiah smiled in satisfaction as Chris and Buck walked into the living room, joking about Buck being a super-villain and what his name would be. One could never be truly certain, but Josiah thought Buck's increasing, well, obnoxiousness, jokes just a little too far, flirting just a bit over the top, over the past month, had had as much to do with getting Chris's attention as it did with the stress of their work load and blowing off steam. They'd all been too tired and worn out to socialize much on the rare occasions they hadn't been at it so late there was no time to do anything but hit the mattress and get up again, but that meant when Tanner's jeep had followed the Ram home a few times, Buck had taken it personally.

It was, considering he'd heard Buck say more than once, when JD was new and nervous around them all, that nobody needed an invitation to the ranch, they just went, not entirely rational, but Buck had always been one to let emotions rule him. Not that that meant he was any to keen to examine them, the profiler thought with a sigh. He knew from experience that Buck wouldn't take kindly to the notion that he was jealous of Vin. He seemed to think if he was it meant he didn't care about the boy the way he did the others, and had reacted pretty much like Josiah had said just that when he'd tried to bring it up after the picnic incident last year.

Turning his gaze to the fireplace to the side of him and Vin busy starting a fire with JD's enthusiastic help, Josiah shook his head in amusement as he saw Nathan reach down one long arm and confiscate a bottle of lighter fluid before the boy could add the entirety of the quarter-full bottle to the pile of logs, plucking it smoothly from their youngest's hands on the way to his seat. A few seconds later, Buck, the humor gone from his face, was tapping JD on the shoulder, the two walking a few steps away once JD stood and talking quietly. Josiah kept one eye on them as the others gathered around the table, Ezra snatching up the yellowing paper packet of cards before anyone else could and intently reading the instructions on the back-when it came to anything to do with cards that boy's competitive streak beat them all by a mile, Vin slouching into a chair that had it's back to the fire and pushing it back as close to the blaze that was crackling away almost too merrily as he could before Chris put a hand on the back of his chair to stop him. He smiled as JD hugged Buck and the scoundrel squeezed him back just as tight.

"Alright gentleman, the rules of this game seem to be fairly simple..." Rolled eyes and smirks crossed various faces as Ezra simply assumed he would be the one running the game, though no one protested as those still standing found their seats and listened to him give them the run down.

*.*.*.*.*

"I'm telling ya," Buck insisted, "Weren't no way that lady spy woulda blown up my lair like that, not after she'd gotten a good dose of the Wilmington charm."

Exchanging a long suffering look with JD, Ezra sighed out, "Mistah Wilmington, the rules of the game ensure that the action is played out according to the cards, not to your whims of being attractive even to cartoons." Sniggers and snorts sounded from around the table as Buck scowled a little, and then grinned.

"Well, I don't know about every character, but I sure did like that Jessica Rabbit." Groans and laughs sounded again, and Nathan, who was nearest the discard pile, threw a handful of cards at Buck.

"No one wants to hear about your adolescent fantasies, man!"

"I dunno," drawled Vin, "know what story I'm tellin' next time a lady asks about Romeo over there."

"Hey," Buck half-laughed, half-protested, finally handing over the lair cards he'd snatched when the 'double agent' had succeeded in blowing them up so the game could go on, "no need to be getting mean, Tanner-sides she was beautiful enough, bet you most ladies would understand."

"Interesting fantasy threesome, son." Josiah commented casually, smiling to himself as Buck spluttered and laughed, enjoying that he'd caused the faint blush on his ears.

"Ah can't believe Ah'm deigning to ask this-but would he not have to select a third party for it to qualify as a 'fantasy threesome'?"

" _Ezra_ -now we're gonna have to listen to him pick someone," JD complained, with a dubious look at Buck, like he was worried he was about to be scared for life.

"Now, you know, if I'm picking I can think of some interesting women that could join me and Jessica...been watching a lot of women's tennis, and let me tell you..."

*.*.*.*.*

Josiah rubbed his hands briskly up and and down his arms as he half-stumbled down the hallway, yawning as he searched for either the thermostat or an extra blanket. Whichever came first. He knocked his knuckles into the wood going to open a likely looking closet door, cursing, and then murmuring an apology more out of habit than anything. The closet door was finally opened successfully, but no blankets awaited him. With a sigh the profiler went to step back and shut the door when he spied the contents of a half open box and leaned in, almost not believing it. But no, he'd been right the first time and a large, if sleepy, smile spread across his face. Peeking into a few more boxes, Josiah nodded to himself. This was perfect. Exactly what they needed for a good dose of Christmas spirit.

Now, he thought as he closed the door, to find that blanket...he thought there had been one on the back of the couch...

*.*.*.*.*

Vin rolled over on his bed as the thumping sounds that had started forcing their way into his ears a few minutes ago...changed, got closer...no, that was a new noise..a window? Eyes opening, fully awake now, Vin's eyes widened as he saw JD more than halfway out the window, back towards the ground and hands gripping the top like he was craning to see something on the roof. Across the room and on JD's bed in a second, he got a firm grip around his waist with one hand, wrapping it snugly around the already dressed JD's belt and gripped the back of his shirt with the other, "What the hell are ya doin'? Get in here!"

"Vin! I'm fine, let go-there's something on the roof." JD looked down as he said this, the motion shifting him back just a bit, a bit too far out the damn window for Vin, who tightened his grip and pulled JD towards him as much as he could, "You're the one who's gonna make me fall!"

"No, ya deciding t' be a damned idiot is!" Angry and scared, Vin wanted to yank JD in himself, but was worried he'd pull against him and topple out from that. A three story fall, even onto thick snow...he didn't even want to think about what would happen. Another loud thump from the roof had them both looking up, Vin wondering for a second what was up there himself. He felt JD start to teeter back even with his grip on him, and not wasting another second he pulled him in hard, putting his back into it. As JD slipped in the window the momentum sent them tumbling off the bed, landing in a sprawled heap on the floor. JD, who wasn't stupid for all he sure'd just been acting like it, tried to scramble away away from Vin, elbowing him twice in the process and would've crushed something he was pretty attached to with a foot if Vin hadn't slid sideways in time. Not done with his brother, not by a long shot, Vin rolled himself over and leapt after JD, succeeding in capturing his legs and then used them to pull JD backwards as he tried futilely to get a grip on first the wooden floor and then the rug between the two beds, pulling a corner of it with him.

"Tanner! Lemme go!"

"Not on your life." JD finally close enough Vin pushed himself up and put one folded leg over the back of JD's to keep him still, gripping the back of his shirt in a wad with his left hand and winding up with the right.

"OWWW!"

Rolling his eyes at JD's dramatics, Vin brought his hand down again, right in the center of his ass this time, and kept going for another four smacks. Releasing JD all at once and shifting back, he growled, "Do that again an' I'll tan ya fer real."

Glaring at him without trying to get up yet, JD snapped back, "You aren't the boss of me."

"Ya want, I can see what Chris says 'bout it," Vin threatened, and after another second of glaring JD gave in, shaking his head as he rolled over and wincing a little as he sat up. Good. Vin went to push himself to his feet, when yet another thump up on the roof had him looking up.

"I told you I heard something," JD said earnestly, pointing to the ceiling.

"Not like I thought ya were hearing things," Vin responded, giving JD a look, "but wasn't much ya could do about it hanging out the window."

Not paying attention to the second part of Vin's comment, JD climbed to his feet and headed towards the stairs, "C'mon, we should see what it is."

*.*.*.*.*

Chris looked up from his carving as JD and Vin came down the stairs one after the other, only just not running. Vin nodded to his disapproving look, not at all concerned, and JD didn't even seem to notice. "Hey, Chris, there's something on the roof, we heard it thumping around, come see!" The young man was snatching on his coat, balancing on the wall as he shoved his feet into his boots, by the time Chris put his work to the side and pushed himself to his feet. He looked at Vin to get an idea of whether JD was getting carried away or there really might be something up there, cursing internally when the sharpshooter nodded. Marching towards the front door with a quick order for JD to wait for him before going out, Chris snatched on his own hat and coat, and for good measure shoved aside the painting that covered the wall safe and flew through the combination. More than likely what the boys had heard was some kind of animal-though how one big enough to actually be noticeable had got up there he had no clue-but better safe than sorry.

Passing his gun to a suddenly much more sober JD, who checked it over immediately, Chris handed Vin his and then began checking over his own. Motioning both younger men to stay behind him, Chris peeked out first through the blinds over the narrow window by the door, and then through the peephole. He didn't see anything, and with his brow furrowing he flipped back the deadbolt and swung the door open. Making his way cautiously out the door, Chris's eyes narrowed as he stepped onto the freshly shoveled walk. No hit man had shoveled their walk. If he was right...

A few steps further out the door and Chris threw down his arms and started cussing when he saw the extension ladder planted deep into the snow and the string of lights decorating half the roof line. "Dammit, Sanchez! Of all the stupid fucking things! I'm gonna kill him, I'm gonna tan his oblivious hide right off him! He's not gonna have an ass left!"

He holstered his gun and marched off, still ranting, towards the ladder, snow flying as he went. Vin leaned over to JD and, voice utterly serious, muttered, "You're so lucky Chris doesn't know about what your dumbass did." JD glared at him, gesturing for Vin to keep it down even though Chris was nearly to the ladder by now, but Vin just raised an eyebrow at him. JD knew damn well he should tell, and he was lucky he wasn't too. Chris was standing at the ladder now, hands on his hips as he glared up, but not yelling anymore, probably not wanting to startle Josiah. "Don't know about ya, but I'm gonna put my gun away an' get back outside in time for the fireworks." Heading back towards the door with JD following behind him, Vin shook his head a little. JD being that stupid had surprised him, and Josiah deciding to put up lights on a snowy roof without even telling anybody was just as stupid, maybe stupider.

Maybe it was all the Christmas music he mussed, the cheesiness was dumbing them down.

*.*.*.*.*

Whistling to himself as he got the lights hooked properly over the last stubborn arch, Josiah began making his way back to the ladder. It was a pain to climb down and haul it to the next spot, but it meant he wouldn't have to trek as far over the snowy roof when he was done.

All the work would be worth it when the boys saw the decorations up, and Josiah got to see their faces. Especially JD's, the boy's upset had been palpable when they were leaving the bullpen last night and Josiah grinned to himself as he imagined his excitement. He hoped he'd be able to finish before he came outside and saw it only partially done. Carefully walking up and preparing to climb down the ladder, Josiah stopped as Chris came into view, feet planted and hands on his hips. Josiah got a good look at his face, and it was certainly not wearing the soft grin he'd imagined. His heart gave an unexpected twinge of unease, and as Chris's glare fastened right on him he would have heard his half-shouted, half-growled, "Down here, now!" even if it had been a whisper. With a wave Josiah maneuvered himself onto the ladder and made his way down, his steady pace getting him to the ground faster than he would have liked. Turning to face his brother, Josiah's, "Now, Chris...", trailed off as the fuming man stepped closer to him.

"You got a death wish, Josiah?" It was all he said then, though Josiah thought he could see the flood building as he shook his head.

"Of course-"

"You want us to walk out and see you splattered in the snow? Froze to death 'cause no one heard you fall?"

"Chris-" Josiah fought dual urges, part of him wanting to defend himself, and part of him wanting to step back out of range of the scorching lecture.

"Woulda been a real merry Christmas after that, huh?" The real fear that he could see was pulling Chris tight, muscles clenched, had the big man hanging his head finally. "It was a damned stupid thing to do, and you know it-you couldn't wait a couple hours?" Chris shook his head and then pointed behind him towards the house. "Get inside. Wait in my room." At that the man turned and stomped away, not going back inside himself, but marching past a JD and Vin who were huddled on the porch peering out. Gathering his few tattered shreds of dignity, Josiah trudged towards the house, the spring that had been in his step when he stepped out early this morning completely gone. It wasn't his first time up on a snowy roof and Josiah knew he had been cautious, but it was hard to argue with the genuine alarm he had seen in Chris's eyes. The boys scattered back into the house before he got to the door and were headed up the stairs when he stepped in and pulled the door shut after him. Josiah only took the time to unlace and pull off his boots before he headed up himself to the room Chris had claimed. As upset as the man had been he had a feeling he was in for a long wait.

*.*.*.*.*

Chris stalked back and forth on the edge of the lawn, wearing a trench through the snow, only not venturing into the woods to burn off more steam because then he'd be the one being an idiot. He didn't think Zhan had any hope of finding them here, but unlike Josiah he wasn't planning to spend his morning doing something he'd tan any of the rest of them for.

Maybe, he thought with a slightly bitter snort, since he hadn't seen any of his 'death omen' crows the man thought he couldn't die. He expected that thinking they were invincible crap from the younger boys-didn't like it, sure didn't put up with it, but he expected it. By the time your hair had as much gray in it as the profiler's did you at least should have a good reason for doing something that stupid.

Putting up Christmas lights wasn't anywhere near good enough.

Chris walked back and forth and growled to himself for a few minutes more, stewing, but eventually he had calmed enough that he thought he could manage taking his belt to the older man instead of strangling him with it. Purpose in his steps he headed back towards the house, it only when he began shedding his coat and boots in the front entrance that he realized how cold he was. Nathan, sleepily shuffling towards the living room from the kitchen, took one look at him and pressed his cup into Chris's hands, turning around to go back for another one while grousing about people who didn't have the sense to bundle up. As his hands slowly thawed around the almost too hot cup Chris winced at the feeling returning to his fingers and gratefully took a long drink. Another minute and most of the coffee was gone and he was as ready as he was going to get.

He was at the top of stars and drawing a breath to steel himself before he knew it, pushing open the large mahogany door and stepping in to face Josiah. The man was sitting on the end of his bed, hands resting in his lap and his head bowed. Chris hoped he was as contrite as he looked, and as the man's head came up at his steady stare he saw in his face that he was. Not as nervous as Chris might have hoped, but he hadn't figured he would be. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I suppose I wasn't-my intentions were only to try and make things more festive for all of us, but, well," Josiah hesitated and Chris crossed his arms over his chest, a silent command to come out with it, and with only another brief moment of hesitation he obeyed, "while I was sitting here thinking I had the Keans incident pop into my head a couple times." Chris frowned and widened his stance slightly, not sure he liked Josiah bringing up a time their positions had been reversed, not when he was in this much trouble, "I can imagine it would seem as though I had put myself in an equal amount of danger, and-"

"You can _imagine_ that it would _seem?_ " Chris's voice cracked across the room, only slightly mollified when Josiah winced, snapping his mouth shut, "There ain't no imagine or seem about it, you could died or been paralyzed if you fell of that roof! There's two extension ladders in that garage, if you'd waited until I got up we could've gotten them up without anyone actually having to climb up on the damn roof." Hands going to his belt buckle and making short work of it, Chris made himself take in and let out a deep breath before he said his next sentence, "You belted my ass for going in without my vest after Keans, and I'll admit I deserved it. Just as bad as you deserve this for risking your life over _Christmas lights_." Folding the belt in his hand, buckle tucked safely away, as Josiah drew in a breath and nodded, finally looked close to as nervous as he continued, "Drop 'em and bend over the bed."

*.*.*.*

Stepping gingerly, the shower and change into the softest boxers and sweatpants he had packed having not done as much to ease the either the burn or ache in his backside as Josiah might have liked, he eased the last few steps into the kitchen. He moved out of the doorway so he wasn't blocking any stragglers, but kept to the back of the room and away from the hubbub for now. The grocery drop off before they got there had left them eggs and milk at least, and it seemed the bag of frozen shredded cheese he had rescued from the back of the freezer was being put to good use. The texture would be off, but in the omelets Buck was cheerfully making no one would be able to tell.

"I can't put spinach in your omelet, Nathan, there ain't none fresh and frozen will make it soggy as a swamp. And who knows how long that bag has been in there. You want something that nasty you can make it yourself." Buck's head was shaking as he flipped an omelet that even from here seemed to be bulging out with bacon, poking at it to test the eggs.

Nathan moved from poking around in the freezer to leaning with a sigh against it, "I guess plain cheese then, the only thing in the crisper is carrots, and I ain't eating a carrot omelet. They've got these long white fiber things growing off 'em too."

"Don't see how spinach is any better," Vin mumbled right before he shoved most of a piece of toast in his mouth.

"Spinach omelets are good," Nathan protested, "put some cheddar cheese in there too-healthy and delicious."

Vin mumbled something around his toast that _might_ have been, "Healthy and disgusting."

"Vin, you're up." Vin, mouth still half full with toast, pushed back from the table and held his plate out over the counter in Buck's direction without actually getting up. Buck snorted, but lifted the pan off the burner and carried it with him the two steps he needed to slide the omelet on Vin's plate, "Getting lazy in your old age, Junior."

"'m n't."

"But ya still talk with your mouth full," Buck tisked, teasingly shaking his head.

"Cream cheese." The declaration came from a previously silent and slumped over his coffee cup Ezra, and everyone, including Josiah who had been enjoying this little play-by-play, looked at him in confusion.

"You want a cream cheese omelet?" Buck asked dubiously. "Don't think we got any, Pard."

"No," it shouldn't be possible for someone who was clearly barely awake to put that much 'duh' in their voice, "that's the best cheese for a spinach omelet." He nodded at Nathan as though he'd just shared some life changing advice, and then went back to slowly sucking up his coffee.

"I told ya we shoulda let 'im sleep 'til he woke up," Buck sighed, "boy might as well be sleep walking for as awake as he is."

"Which woulda been when, noon?" Nathan countered as he moved to go sit down at the table, waving and raising an eyebrow at Josiah when he saw him.

"Eleven," Ezra mumbled, a beat too long after Nathan's question. Chuckling, and supposing he had been skulking long enough, Josiah began a careful walk towards the counter. Leaning against it sounded like a far better idea than sitting down.

"Hey, 'Siah," Buck grinned over his shoulder at him, making Josiah wonder if he'd just seen him or if he'd known he was there all along. "Pull up a chair and tell me what you want in your omelet-if what you want is cheddar or bacon, or both, cause that's all we got."

Josiah leaned carefully against the counter, Buck shooting him a knowing look before turning back to flip Nathan's omelet. "Lots of both sounds like what the doctor ordered."

"A man after my own heart. Alright, Nathan, yours is just about done. Hey, anybody see JD yet?"

"He said he wasn't hungry," Vin volunteered, "but I think he just didn't wanna stop playin' his game."

"That kid," Buck mumbled, "he'll never move if someone doesn't make him." All eyes moved to Vin, the only one not waiting for food, noticing the stares as he chewed his last bite. He looked around, groaned, and pushed himself away from the table.

"Fine, I'll get him-but I'm makin' more toast, don't anybody eat it all."

"You already had three pieces, other people want to eat too," Nathan, who'd been in the middle of buttering his own two pieces complained.

"I'm a growin' boy," Vin called over his shoulder.

Nathan, snorting, muttered, "Growin' a tape worm, maybe," as he sat down at the table, taking a satisfied sounding bite of his toast.


End file.
